Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!

I ponder a year ago..last Thanksgiving....it was such a day of mixed emotions. I wanted to soak every moment with my kids. Rich and I were leaving for Ecuador the next day. I was ready to go get this new son of ours, but my heart was so sad to leave my other children.

I feel so blessed to be home with them this year. I spent the day yesturday baking rolls, cookies, and making chocolate covered strawberries. This is what I longed to do all last Christmas season with my children around me helping. I got to do that in preparing for Thanksgiving. I felt so grateful for all the many blessings of family, being together as a family, not having to be apart, and seeing God's hand in our families lives every day this past year.

It has been a very very hard year for me, but I see such tender mercies in my life and the lives of my family. I have felt guided how to teach and love my family. I have felt protected from so much at the same time facing so much heartache. I see the growth of our family's unity...

I'm here as a witness that Heavenly Father loves each one of us. He IS here to help us make it through what ever trial we face. He is there waiting for us to turn to Him so he can wrap His loving arms around us. He is there to enjoy with us all our joys that we face as well. We are His children. He knows us and loves us...I can feel it so strong even as I write this.

I am grateful for this knowledge. I am grateful for His love and knowing.. I am a daughter of God.

I didn't post for Sarah's Birthday.... November 12

All Sarah wanted for her birthday was to be in her house before we move. She got her birthday wish. Angie Wach made the most yummy red velvet cake ever for Sarah. We were able to eat this and open presents. I tried hard to have it as special of a day as possible because she wasn't very happy about moving the next day. We ended our evening all cuddled in mine and Rich's bed watching a Barbie movie. It was great to be together like that.

Sarah is such a sweetie......my little angel. She loves to take charge and be the little mother. She is such a silly goober. She keeps us laughing at the dinner table. She can be fearless when she sets her mind to it. Now, if I could get her to think that way about eating strawberries. :) I have enjoyed watching her grow into such a big girl. She did swim team this past summer. It was very hard for her, but she did it. She didn't want to switch schools when we moved, but after praying and fasting she felt like she should switch and she did (although it was hard for her). She got up to bear her sweet testimony in church in November. It was so tender. She said she knew that when we are having a hard time that Heavenly Father will help us and that she knew Thomas S. Monson was a true prophet. That was it, but so from the heart. My little girl is getting so big in spirit and strength. I love this little girl of mine...she is my JOY

I remember the days when my little boys would come into my bedroom in the middle of the night to tell me they were scared, peed the bed, needed to go to the bathroom, or wanted to cuddle. I remember being so tired and sometimes hoping Rich would get out of bed to help them or pretending to be a sleep a little longer to see if Rich even heard them. Most of the time he didn't and I would get up with them. I loved putting them back to bed as they snuggled into their covers. I missed this so much when I was in Ecuador for that month almost a year ago. I couldn't wait til I came home and they would cuddle me in the middle of the night or in the early hours in the morning.

I returned from Ecuador and I was so sad to learn that they didn't do this anymore. I felt like they didn't need me in that way anymore. That they learned to handle things without me and became so independent.

It has almost been a year...something I have longed to happen has happened. Kiefer came into my bedroom and was scared. He climbed up into my bed and cuddled me. I loved putting my arms around him and hearing his breathing go deeper and deeper til he fell asleep.

I have longed for this so much and thought my times of having this was long gone. I felt like it was a gift from God in a night I needed to feel that kind of love and being needed.

I guess sometimes I don't know what I got til it's gone.

I love my little Kiefer. It took almost a year. I wish it happened sooner, but it was worth the wait to cuddle my little sweetie in the middle of the night.

Aug.2 Kiefer and Caleb had their 5th birthday.

It was a great day going to the pool, having their special meals, and seeing them play with their gifts.

Kiefer and Caleb told everyone that it was their birthday and they were turning 5.

Kiefer was born 2 minutes before Caleb, so he usually gets to blow out his candles first. Kiefer is such a little goober. I don't think he can walk across a room without doing something goofy. He keeps us laughing. One thing I love about Kiefer is his sweetness. If I'm ever sitting or laying down Kiefer will start playing with my hair. He will run and get a brush then send me into moments of heaven by brushing my hair. He has mastered this art.
He loves having his back rubbed. In the middle of the day he will come to me and ask me to rub his back and he will cuddle me for some time. I love this.

Kiefer loves riding his bike, swimming, going to church and school, and he loves to color. He also loves rubbing his bellybutton. It is so funny to see. He also loves Caleb. He loves being with Caleb. They either help eachother make good choices or they are in crime together.

Caleb, my "youngest", is a sweetheart. Caleb can sit at the table and write his letters for a very long time. He loves to swim, write, build blocks, go to church, school,...really he likes going anywhere. The thing I love about Caleb is his manlyness. He loves putting on his tennis shoes and showing us how fast he can run around. He is my little helper. If I come home from walmart, he is there to help bring in the bags of food. He wants me to see how srong he is. Even with all his manhood at such a young age, he is very sensitive. He is kind to others and is very helpful with other kids.
He loves playing with Kiefer at bedtime. This is the time when Caleb becomes a bit of a teaser.
I love hearing them talk and laugh at bedtime. Sometimes they talk and laugh for a couple of hours. I can never stop them. It is such a neat thing to witness.

Kiefer and Caleb both bring me so much JOY. They brighten my days. I love my twin boys. It was really hard those first several years, but they have the gift of bringing so much love and happiness wherever they are. I am so blessed to have them as my little boys...my babies.

I prayed that Marcelo would recieve all the love and excitement for him on his Birthday. This is his first birthday with us and I wanted him to feel loved and special.

Since, we were on our way back from vacation we were in a hotel the morning of his birthday. I decorated a poster for him and the girls blew up balloons for him. (Rich and I had to get two rooms for our family) In the morning we girls went to the boys room and threw balloons up and sang happy birthday to him.

We got home in time to fix his cake. He wanted yellow cake with chocolate icing. We fixed chicken, rice(which did not turn out), and french fries. His favorites.

While we ate I told him it is a family tradition to tell how the birthday person came into our family. I told of how Heavenly Father guided us to him and then I told how Rich and I came on a plane, we were so excited to see and meet him. I told of the first day we got to see him and all the things we did........and how we all

felt.

As I told the story, so many of the emotions came back from that time. It was such a high and low of feelings. I felt a rush of emotions, but I was able to hold it in while I told the story.

My little Marcelo has been with us for 8 months. It is hard to imagine how far we have come. He is such a different boy and I am a different kind of Mom.

Marcelo is such a good boy. His heart is kind. He is funny. He is smart. He notices so many things even small things. He asks so many questions of what I am doing and why I'm doing it, where am I going and why,......He loves music, loves to be sang to, loves food, loves swimming, loves playing with cars and loves his new leapster. He doesn't like getting his picture takin when he is the center of the attention, he doesn't like quiet time, and he doesn't really like watching tv.

All in all I think he had a great birthday. I love my little Marceo.

I have to share two cute stories with Marcelo..

The other day I was having one of those days. I told my kids that I was a grouch and if they wanted to have a nice day they won't talk back, pick fights, and they will say yes when I ask them to do something. ( I think the summer heat has gotten to their heads. I was at my limit with their teasings and throwing fits when I asked them to do something). I was leaving to go somewhere and I was getting in my car, while my kids were eating lunch at the table. The door from the house opened and Marcelo's head peeks out and he yells out..."I love you, mom!"

It was one of those moments when I really felt he meant it. I needed to hear those lovely words at that moment. My sweet little Marcelito.

My second story is...

Marcelo was yelling for me through the house, "MOM...MOM..MOM"

Savannah said,"What"

Marcelo said," No, my real Mom.."

To some this might be small, but to me...it was very sweet. We have come a long way. I used to be know as "the mom".....Now, he called me his real mom. Our relationship is so much better. We have moments now..sweet ones. I can tell he feels closer, more trust, and more comfort with me. We still have a lot further to go, but my heart is so grateful for how far we have come. I am grateful for how he comes up to me and hugs me, holds my hand as we walk, rubs my back or arm while we sit together at church. I am finding that we are having more of those sudden acts of love that a mother and child share throughout our days. I feel more depth as we both express our love for eachother.......I'm just so grateful, today.

6 months...a whole 6 months that Marcelo has been in our family. Six months ago we came from Ecuador with this little boy that only spoke spanish, wouldn't open any of his Christmas presents, was scared of all his new surroundings, and many more things that I know about and things that I hope he will share as he gets older.
I had no idea how my life was going to change. I have learned so much. It has been such a blessing to have Marcelo in our family. We are all better people for having him in our lives. I love this boy. He has no idea how much I love him and all that I go through for him. I have enjoyed looking at all his growth he has made.
I feel like there is more trust, love, light, joy, security, and peace in his life. He loves his siblings. He loves playing with them. He loves playing school, riding his bike, going to church, singing songs, playing house, writing his name and letters, and he loves his Daddy.
Marcelo is a hard worker. He folds clothes, sweeps the floor, does a great job cleaning up. He enjoys doing dishes, but I really don't have him do that very often. He can be the one who will listen just to be the first to listen. Marcelo is kind and very gentle. He puts up with a lot with his brothers.
So, as I look at all the wonderful things that have happened in the last 6 months and all that I have been able to discover about Marcelo...it is bitter sweet.
It has been the hardest thing I have ever and am going through. I have been tested and tested and rejected and...you name it I have delt with it. I am left very mentally tired so much of the time. When one thing seems to be getting better another issue comes up, and there is the whole two steps forward one step back thing. I have gone through emotions that I never even knew I had. I have had weaknesses come forth that I'd rather them stay down deep. It has put strains on relationships and have tested the strength of them. I could go on and on.
On the flip side...I feel like those relationships have become so much stronger and united. I feel like many of those weaknesses have become strengths of mine. I have learned to continue to reach out (which is still hard at times..many times) when it all seems to be rejected.
My favorite thing in the whole experience is calling upon my Heavenly Father and seeing on a daily bases his help, answers, guidance, and love. I am not perfect and I make so many mistakes with this whole new life of mine. But, I know my prayers have been answered. Heavenly Father is so kind and loving and aware of me and all that I go through and all that I feel. I know He is aware of Marcelo. I know I have recieved guidance to such little things that have been hard to do, but has made huge differences in our lives.
Teaching a little child such basics that a baby learns has been rewarding. Marcelo is learning still, but has come so far in knowing what a family is all about.
Our relationship is still growing. We have good days and bad ones. We are still learning to trust eachother. He still tests me like no other, but I feel like everything is on the right path. All that we have been through was needed to go through and still need to go through more. I wouldn't trade it or even change it. This is all shaping us to become the people God wants us to become.
I know through the Atonement of Christ all will be healed, hearts will change, and that happiness and love will only grow. It just takes a lot of work and time on our part. Everything worth having
is worth the work....right :)

Grandmas are the best...especially my Grandma Mini.
I went to her home today needing to get away for awhile. I had a great visit. We talked,watched a little movie, and I made her dinner.
I left feeling loved, wanted, at peace, and full of positiveness. My grandma Mini is the best place to go to to be nurtured. I remember spending so much time as a little girl there. She loved me, taught me, feed me...I always felt like I was so important and special to her. I remember leaving High school one day because I was sick. Her house is where I went. She cared for me, cooked for me, and I got the best back scratches ever. I would sleep on her couch or even her bed. It was the best.
I love my Grandma so much. She is a woman of such faith and knowledge. She serves and gives of everything she has. She is positve, never complains, thrifty, and she makes the best out of every situation. She loves and loves and loves. She is such an example to me...

Wizard of Oz was the ballet this year that the girls did. Rich even got to be in the action. Alot of time goes into this production, but the girls love it. They get so excited to find out what they are doing and what part they will be. This was Bry's first year on point and she was so beautiful in her dances. She is one of the older girls now. I can remember her first year. She was so little.
She loves dancing.
Savy loves dressing up and always has. She was so beautiful in her oz costume. I can tell that she enjoys being on stage and having that spot light on her. She is going to be pre-point next year.
Sarah...what a beautiful girl. I think this is the first year that she was more into the dance on stage instead of looking for us and smiling so big. She knew her part and was so happy to be apart of it all.
I love seeing my girls work so hard in something and then be able to show case it. Ballet is hard work. By proformance night...it is all worth it. It is something I look forward to each year.

little Savannah......at her 5th grade graduation. Her big sister, Bry, did her hair and got her all ready for her big night. It made Savy feel special and beautiful.
Savy has had these two friends, both named Sarah, for several years. One of them just moved and it was really sad. They have been good friends to my Savy.
It was so nice to be able to celebrate Savy.
She is going to be in middle school. A big girl...preteen...I don't know if I am ready for that. My little innocent girl is going to be in a whole new world. I'm so glad to know that she is strong, good, smart, has high self esteem, and that she is happy.
Savannah will be grate. I'm excited to see her grow and become a little lady:)

Kiefer and Caleb had ther preschool play on their last day. They are so cute and such a joy. I can't believe they have one more year of preschool before they are gone everyday to elementry school.

They went over their parts over and over at home. They pulled it off and said their parts in the play. Not, only did they say it but you could hear it. I think that is the first for any of my kids at that age. I can't say enough how much I love these boys and how grateful I am for all the joy they bring into my life.

Bryanna recieved her first roses from a boy. She will most likely die when she sees I posted this, BUT you only recieve your first roses once and years from now she will be happy I got this picture.

After two really bad days and four really bad "school" days for Marcelo and myself we have a MIRACLE!!!!!!!

The last four school days for Marcelo he has finished his work at 4:30, 6:00, 5:30, and 4:00. That means really hard days and hard lessons to be learned for him and myself. I was at the end of my rope yesturday. I think he was too.

Today, he finished at 11:30 am!!!!!!!!! I am so happy. He is outside playing and having fun. I am inside able to get things done that I haven't gotten done or really wanted to get done. It is a break for me. I now can go through the day and not have some one fighting against me all day. A BREAK!!! That is what I prayed for.

It might not last all day, but for now I am going to enjoy my moment for however long. I'm going outside and study my spanish. Yes, Kim, I will be prepared for our class tomorrow.LOL

Last night Rich and I came home from a fun evening with friends to find all our boys in the basement sleeping. We thought how cute is this. I imagined Marcelo feeling really apart of the boys. They looked so peaceful all cuddled up in bed.

I think of the little song...There was ten in the bed and the little one said move over, move over...so they all move over and now there were nine in the bed.....

SO, I am wondering how they can go from this to three of them peeing in the bed ON PURPOSE when they woke up. They were awake and decided, "I'm going to pull my pants down and pee on the bed." Another boy saying, " Oh really, well I'm going to pee through my pants and pee on the bed." Then the third boy saying, "WEll, I"M going to sit on the bed and pee on the bed."

While the fourth boy is smart enough not to do it, he is laughing the whole time.

WHERE DO BOYS GET THIS FROM!!!!!!!!!! It is yucky....VERY YUCKY!!!

Not a great way to wake up on a Saturday. I need to read my last blog and think positve. The thing is it is early in the morning and that is the only thing I have to look at for my day. Oh, I just thought of a positve. Since, they did this they are doing extra jobs today, which means less work for me. Now, that puts a smile on my face! he he

WHAT A DAY!!!!!!!!!

I am worn out. I had a flat tire today. So flat I couldn't drive on it. In the middle of all that going on I had a child who tested every bit of my strength. For hours today it was like someone pushing against me and me trying to keep my ground. Days like this leave me so longing for a better day.

The interesting thing is.... if I think of all the good things that happened, I can feel so different about my day.

The good things that happened today..........

-I went to spanish class...I love going to spanish.

-I got to visit with mom Neal

-I ate lunch with Tamara while the kids played

-Since the flat tire was not in my drive way AAA came to put on a spare one

-In the middle of a child pounding on the door in time out I went outside to enjoy the quiet and to read my scriptures and pray for help and calmness. While I did this a beautiful butterfly landed on my clothes and stayed there for a long time. It was so sweet at the moment.

-I got to vent to my sister who has a great listening ear...Jessica :)

-I was hugged and kissed by my hubby when he got home from work

-Dinner was soo good and easy(thanks to dinner group)

-I got to go on a wonderful run by myself, at night, in the beautiful weather outside. It ended my day so nice.

So, when I look at all the good things that happened today. I had a GREAT day. I loved my day.

Maybe, I 'll choose not to look at all the hard moments today and let go of all the yucky feelings. If I do this I'll be going to bed feeling really happy about my day and who I am as a person and a Mom. I think that sounds good. Good night ya'll.

May 11,2010
Today I woke up with a head that was pounding. Oh, it hurt. My throat hurt to swallow. Rich brought me some tylenol and a sinus med. It helped.
Around 4:00 my head started to pound again and it hurt really bad to talk or to swallow.
When it was bed time I went to put Marcelo to bed. I knelt down to hear him pray and in his prayer he prayed that...Mama won't be sick no more.
HE PRAYED FOR ME.
OK, this may sound little to some people, but it is the first time he has ever prayed for me. My new little son was thoughtful and prayed for me. He is learning to pray so a lot of his prayers are short and the same thing said in them. Tonight, he thought "outside" the box and prayed for me.
So, maybe he is getting it. That we pray to Heavenly Father for help and that he hears us. May- be he was concerned aboout me.....
Whatever it was... I'll take the pounding headache all over again to hear his sweeet little prayer.

Mother's Day I woke to my kids coming in singing.."Happy mother's day to you. Happy Mother's day to you!"
I got a nice breakfast in bed and lots of homemade cards from the kids. I opened my gift from the kids. They made me a tie blanket. It is so cute.
I have to be honest. I was really worried about Mother's Day. It is the first one Marcelo will have with a Mom. I didn't know how he would do.
ALL the kids were great. The girls helped so much. I enjoyed preparing some of the dinner with them. All of us working together and talking while all the boys were in time out from being so hyper during church. It was nice to have that time with the girls.
The boys during church were hyper, but they were also excited for me. They kept putting my hair behind my ears, telling me I'm pretty, saying I love you, and telling me that I have to be happy because it was Happy Mother's Day. They were great. This was all done in between them wrestling eachother, clapping hands loudly, talking or singing loudly, biting eachother or themselves...........My boys keep me very ......let's just say I'm never bored.
I spent the rest of the day visiting with so much family and I stayed up way too late, but I loved my day.
I did get some special time with each of the boys before bed. Each one I was able to have a different experience with. The boys are always full of suprises. I never know what I'lll get from them. Well, some of them :)
Rich was a sweetie the whole day. I got my Mother's day gift from him early(on Friday). It was a cheetah print chair. I loved it. I am so blessed to have my hubby and my little sweeties and little men. They fill my life with so much love and joy. I am so grateful to be a MOM.

April 2, 2010
We got sealed to Marcelo in the Louisville, Kentucky temple

Bry's 13 birthday

SAVY"S 11 birthday

I am amazed at things that I learn......... Things that I don't even think twice about. Things that I think every one knows. BUT, they DON'T.

Tonight, Rich was talking to Marcelo. He talked about how our bodies are special...we treat them right..modesty.....etc. Rich mentioned the word "body"(in spanish). Marcelo didn't know what that was.

I'm amazed at the things we think everyone has to know or should know. I mean, our bodies...we have had these since we have been born. For him 5 years. Nobody to share what the word "body" meant.

Marcelo is still learning so many things. He is like a sponge. Some things are very hard for him, other things are very easy. We are still not to normal. Days can be very hard, but every once in a while I see a bit into his thinking or old ways of life. Some of it is so sad.

I do know that what he has faced and is facing in life will all be part of who he needs to be for the future. It will shape him into the man God wants him to be and to touch the lives of certain people that most people won't be able to....... All because of what his life has given him.

It seems like we both are going through some life changing experiences at the same time. It isn't always fun while in the middle of it all.

I was having a rough day, for certain reasons, a couple of days ago. I went in prayer that night asking Heavenly Father for help, comfort, and peace. I woke the next morning feeling renewed. I felt at peace and happy. It is wonderful to feel Heavenly Father's love in my life and to see Him working in my life. I'm so grateful for prayer. I could never live with out it. Miracles happen every day all because of prayer......This I am grateful for.

Everyday life is getting so much better. Every week we see how our family is becoming more united with Marcelo. We still have some challenges, but they have gotten soooo much better. Yesturday, the kids came home from school around 1:00. We all watched a movie and although Marcelo doesn't watch them it was relaxing. He played in the same room, coming up to us every once in awhile. There were no fights and no tantrums. It was so nice to have that comfort feeling in our home again. (not that we don't have fights on a everyday bases...)

Marcelo is still learning about us and our silly jokes. Yesturday, after his shower, all the boys were in the bathroom. I got the silly string out and started spraying them. All the boys were laughing and begging me to spray them. Marcelo cried. He was probably thinking, "I'm all clean and what in the world is she spraying on me." It didn't take long before he was begging for me to spray him. The best part was that Rich came home in the middle of this, SO I got to spray him.

Then I went into the kitchen and got Sarah and Savannah. They loved it!!

Rich and I got Bryanna the other night when she was watching American Idol. She was covered in it. I realized shortly afterwards that we better get it all out of her long hair. Clean up isn't always fun. :)

So, silly string, coloring faces with marker, dressing up, and even putting pull ups on their heads have helped chase the winter blues away. I almost forgot, we ahve done a lot of leg wrestling. We even talked Grandma Neal into doing it with the boys. We all loved this. It was very funny!!!

Oh, my Trey Trey. I just love this boy so much. We got to celebrate his 6th birthday and allow him to feel special. He wanted chocolate cake with chocolate icing, to go swimming and a pinata. We as a family had so much fun swimming and then the next day shoveling snow to do the pinata outside. What fun ideas Trey had.

I have been so impressed with Trey and the love he has shown Marcelo coming into our family. He is so willing to share and give him ONE more chance. Trey is so smart. He is great at sounding out words and focusing on reading outloud. I love his hugs and kisses. I love looking into his brown eyes. I have loved this since he was a little baby. Something in his eyes are so precious and familar to me. I am amazed at his ability to not get hurt more than he has. I really think he has about 10 angels that protect him and some nights they got to be so happy he is asleep. My Trey has grown so much. He, at times, has growing pains in his legs during the night that are very painful for him.

Trey is very fast and sometimes I think he is faster than what his brain can keep up with. He is so busy. Infact, one night I was taking pictures of him watching a movie in every picture his hands are in a different position. That boy could not hold still. :) I love my wiggle worm. He is my cutie pie.

My sisters are the best. They gave me a "JIll"night. We all got together for some good treats and to sit and talk. My Mom , Aunt Barb, and even my Grandma Mini came along with all my sisters(except Jen and Judy:( )

It was so fun to be with them and get out for a night.

Our Grandma Mini was the one keeping us laughing with her excitement about her new, silver, FUN shoes. The deal she got on them was even more exciting for her. She is a 92 year young lady . She is the center of our family. I just love her.....What a fun night!!

This was such a fun day for Bryanna and me. Bryanna has taken ballet since she was 5 years old. The time had finally come that she got her point shoes. We went with her class and they all got fitted for their shoes. Even her cute teacher got a pair. We celebrated by all going out to eat afterwards.
Bryanna is loving her point shoes. The first three days she wore This year she will be able to dance in the recital with her new shoes.
It was so exciting to see her get something she has worked so hard to do. I love seeing her do
something she loves.

Ok.....I guess the Lord wanted to test me from what I said in my last blog.

Sunday was a "hit hard day on Jill". WHAT? The day after I say I can't give up, I want to give up! Funny how that works. I guess everyone hits a day when they feel they are just empty and have nothing else to give. I thought of my kids last night. I realized they all had food on the table during their three meals, they were alive, and I DID tell them that I loved them. Maybe that isn't great, but tomorrow is another day. ....AND I survived

Rich was super great the whole day on Sunday. It was nice to have him home some of the time.

Today, I was able to sleep in a bit(thanks to Rich) and wake to Kiefer and Caleb climbing into bed to cudddle. They had this abc game that they were playing with. They kept pushing the "u" button. It would make the u sound and then say the word "underwear". They then would just laugh thinking it was the funniest word ever made. When they were finished with that they would brush my hair. It felt so good. They are so sweet and I really miss mornings like this.

I felt so good waking up to such happiness. I felt God was saying, "I know things can be tough, but here is some sunshine for you. Enjoy!!!!" Thus, I have felt that all day today. What a gift I have been given.

PLUS, dare I say it at 3:15 in the afternoon, there has been no time outs today AND I haven't had to ask Kiefer or Caleb to get off Marcelo's face, stop pulling his ears, stop pushing him, or to even leave him alone. IT IS A MIRACLE!!!!!!! They have played and laughed all afternoon. This is another gift today that I'm recieving with open arms.

I don't know if this is a good day to write this, but I feel like if I don't do it now time will only slip away.

It has been a little over a month since we have brought Marcelo home. In so many ways it seems so long ago. I still miss so much about Ecuador and the people. I really like so much about their way of life. (not the hand washing of dishes and clothes..) I miss the people that I felt close to and being able to feel of there goodness and love of the Lord.

Marcelo has had so many firsts...trains, overpasses, water fountains, dishwashers, seatbelts, big boy bikes, snow, and (yes) wetwillies.

Trey asked him if he wanted a WETWILLY. Marcelo was so excited and said, "SI". Let's just say Marcelo was NOT a fan of them. We all had a good laugh in the car that day,except him;).

Marcelo and all the brothers and sisters have played so well. I am amazed at how well my kids have handled having another child added to our family. They have shown so much love and understanding. My children are so amazing at times. I am learning from them every day.They are all learning spanish/english, which they enjoy.

We put Marcelo in school half day. He is liking it and sometimes asks if he can eat lunch there.

He got another first and that was riding the bus in the morning. He loves that part of the day. The first day I was trying to take a picture and he was so fast that the bus driver had to hold him still for a picture.

He is starting to say some words in english(not too many). He understands alot more than he speaks. We will start getting some help at school to help him with that. I'm excited to see him grow more in school.

Marcelo loves his daddy. As soon as he comes home, Marcelo is all over him. Spanish is heard all over the house. Rich as been so busy lately, that he is missed by our new little guy.

I had my first "excited to see mommy and give her a hug" at the end of the first week of him starting school.

My days can be very long and hard. There are good days, but the bad ones are bad.

Today was a bad day. Marcelo can throw fits, ones that drive me crazy. I can spend many moments in his room with him. Everything is such a teaching moment. I am always having to be right on top of things. Expaining, teaching, correcting, and disciplining are part of my day so much more than it has ever been before. By the time night comes I'm so tired mentally and emotionally. It is just hard. There is so much more. I could go on and on, but......enough of that.

I have experienced so many emotions through this process. Ones I can cry over just thinking about and others I feel such love of my Heavenly Father. I see so many things in a different light. We, who grow up in a home, take so much for granted. Things that my kids think would be funny, my new son thinks they are very scary. He is learning things at the age of 5 that most people learn as babies and never think twice about. It may take a life time for him to really feel of the feelings that we have felt since birth.

I find my language has to change a bit. Things I would say to my kids all the time don't apply to Marcelo. So, I'm learning to change the way I say things.

It is hard not knowing what all his past holds for him. I ask myself many times if I am doing something that might bring some uncomfortable insecurity about. I wish I could see in his past and hear his thoughts, so I could know him better.

Being in Ecuador was the hardest time I have ever had. It was hard being away from my family. I had no idea how hard it was going to be. I think the Lord was protecting me before hand to get me there. I experienced emotions that were so intense, that are hard to express in words. I had so many questions not answered. (still don't have many of the answers)

With all that being said....Being in Ecuador had some of the sweetest moments I have ever had. I find that when our eyes are open we see so much of God's hands in our lives, embrassing us.

I was strengthened way beyond my own strength. I felt the love of God for me and so many others. I know we are all God's children. He loves us and wants the best for us. It isn't always how or what we think. But it is the perfect plan...His plan. I learned to walk or really crawl in darkness with a flicker of faith in what I was experiencing. Trusting in His plan isn't always so easy. I realized more than ever that I am not a quiter or should I say I'm a surivor. Even if it is harder than hard, quiting is not in my vocabulary(OK, it has been and still is at times, but I can't really follow through). Running my last marathon taught me so much of just keep moving forward. No matter what speed you are going if you are placing one foot in front of the other you are making progress. I guess when I know it is what God wants and I have recieved that special feeling that I can't deny, there is no giving up. What would be on the other side of my choices if I did give up? I wouldn't be truely happy and I would not feel any peace. I love peace. It is one of the greatest gifts for me. What is before me might be really, really, I mean REALLY hard at times, but I have peace. I can't give up on that and God never gives up on me or any of us. Thank goodness for that.

So, there is my soap box. I guess I got off the subject a bit about the first month and all.

There are hard moments and really good moments. Marcelo has changed so much. It is like night and day from the time we were in Ecuador. I feel of his love for us and his desire to be apart of our family. He wants to be in our family pictures. In fact, he wants to be in all the pictures. He is such a good boy. I feel it so strong from him. He is smart, kind, and VERY patient. He is such a hard worker and even loves to work. If I weren't careful all the other kids would have him "helping" them do their jobs.

So, we are still in the process of being united. I told Bry that we are all like a bunch of marshmellows being melted in a pot. It happens slow and you have to keep working(stirring)...but then all of a sudden you have the perfect "united" melted marshmellow creme to make the best rice crispy treats ever. There are always a few marshmellows that seem to take a little longer to melt, but once they do, it is great. So, now we are working and waiting...... til that day. We are all learning more about Christ like Love and swallowing a bit of pride every day :)

Bringing Marcelo in our family has been so good for us. We do more things together. We have different habbits now that bring more unity. We are much more crazy at dinner, but every one is having fun (unless you have a headache). We are more focused on our family and our relationships. Rich and I are more concerned about how everyone is doing and what we as parents can do for them. We are all learning to love more and accept others for who they are. Rich and I are more united than ever. I'm so grateful we were both able to be in Ecuador. It was a huge blessing. We have all recieved so many blessings from this and I'm sure they will keep coming as we learn and grow.

On a side note, I don't know if this was too much. BUT, I feel so much better now. I'm ready for my icecream cone :)

• Today, in our family we got to celebrate our favorite man's birthday, Rich. He turned 35!!!! I suprised him by cancelling his half day at work. I took him to breakfast and he got to take a nap. I fixed lasagna for dinner and we had fruit pizza. All at his request. All the kids thanked him for picking such yummy food. He is now at a 10:30 pm movie with his long time best friend,Tony.
• I love Rich for so many reasons. He brightens my day, every day. He makes all of us laugh and he isn't afraid of making a fool of himself. I love it when he is doing things he loves. I love the sparkle in his eyes. I love his kindness, honesty, humor, and his acceptance.
• Rich is so good at so many things. He cleans a bathroom better than I can. He is good at listening. He is such an example of service. He is a great singer. He is a great leader. He is good at doing doughnuts in a parking lot when there is ice everywhere. He is good at keeping things calm and at peace. He is good at down loading applications on his new phone. :)
• Rich amazes me with his skills to make our kids laugh every time he smiles with brownie all over his teeth. He is great at teaching our kids fun little tricks that "mommy" doesn't always think are great in the house, but the kids think are sooo cool. He is great at the details of any project. I enjoy his out look on life. I love how all the kids run to him when he gets home from work(except the bigger ones...they may be too cool for that :) )
• I love when I get to dance with him in the kitchen......MY FAVORITE.

So, just a bit to show off my hubby. :) It IS his birthday and he is the special guy of the day.

I was driving in the car today thinking of all the hugs I had received or given through the day. I was pondering the "magic" of hugs.

Hugs are so powerful. They calm the stress, they give love, they take away the grumpiness, gives acceptance, calms the stress that are present, makes one feel safe, and so much more.

I love the hugs I receive from my kids and my husband. I love when we give a big whole family hug. There is nothing like it.

I recently had a friend come by and wanted just to give me a hug. It brightened my day and allowed me to feel loved, wanted, and important. It was so nice to be thought of.

So, if you are wondering what you can do for someone, or want to cheer some one up.....give a hug. It will certainly make that person feel a whole lot better.

That's my thought on that :)

On the way home from church today, Kiefer and Caleb started talking about our old horse, Tippy. I had to explain that she died and went to "heaven".

Kiefer asked if we could go get her out of heaven."

I asked, "How do you do that?"

Kiefer said," we can go on a plane and go up in the sky til we get to heaven. Then we can get Tippy and bring her back."

Very interesting, Kiefer.

I forget how I enjoy the cute things they say