I don't know if this is a good day to write this, but I feel like if I don't do it now time will only slip away.

It has been a little over a month since we have brought Marcelo home. In so many ways it seems so long ago. I still miss so much about Ecuador and the people. I really like so much about their way of life. (not the hand washing of dishes and clothes..) I miss the people that I felt close to and being able to feel of there goodness and love of the Lord.

Marcelo has had so many firsts...trains, overpasses, water fountains, dishwashers, seatbelts, big boy bikes, snow, and (yes) wetwillies.

Trey asked him if he wanted a WETWILLY. Marcelo was so excited and said, "SI". Let's just say Marcelo was NOT a fan of them. We all had a good laugh in the car that day,except him;).

Marcelo and all the brothers and sisters have played so well. I am amazed at how well my kids have handled having another child added to our family. They have shown so much love and understanding. My children are so amazing at times. I am learning from them every day.They are all learning spanish/english, which they enjoy.

We put Marcelo in school half day. He is liking it and sometimes asks if he can eat lunch there.

He got another first and that was riding the bus in the morning. He loves that part of the day. The first day I was trying to take a picture and he was so fast that the bus driver had to hold him still for a picture.

He is starting to say some words in english(not too many). He understands alot more than he speaks. We will start getting some help at school to help him with that. I'm excited to see him grow more in school.

Marcelo loves his daddy. As soon as he comes home, Marcelo is all over him. Spanish is heard all over the house. Rich as been so busy lately, that he is missed by our new little guy.

I had my first "excited to see mommy and give her a hug" at the end of the first week of him starting school.

My days can be very long and hard. There are good days, but the bad ones are bad.

Today was a bad day. Marcelo can throw fits, ones that drive me crazy. I can spend many moments in his room with him. Everything is such a teaching moment. I am always having to be right on top of things. Expaining, teaching, correcting, and disciplining are part of my day so much more than it has ever been before. By the time night comes I'm so tired mentally and emotionally. It is just hard. There is so much more. I could go on and on, but......enough of that.

I have experienced so many emotions through this process. Ones I can cry over just thinking about and others I feel such love of my Heavenly Father. I see so many things in a different light. We, who grow up in a home, take so much for granted. Things that my kids think would be funny, my new son thinks they are very scary. He is learning things at the age of 5 that most people learn as babies and never think twice about. It may take a life time for him to really feel of the feelings that we have felt since birth.

I find my language has to change a bit. Things I would say to my kids all the time don't apply to Marcelo. So, I'm learning to change the way I say things.

It is hard not knowing what all his past holds for him. I ask myself many times if I am doing something that might bring some uncomfortable insecurity about. I wish I could see in his past and hear his thoughts, so I could know him better.

Being in Ecuador was the hardest time I have ever had. It was hard being away from my family. I had no idea how hard it was going to be. I think the Lord was protecting me before hand to get me there. I experienced emotions that were so intense, that are hard to express in words. I had so many questions not answered. (still don't have many of the answers)

With all that being said....Being in Ecuador had some of the sweetest moments I have ever had. I find that when our eyes are open we see so much of God's hands in our lives, embrassing us.

I was strengthened way beyond my own strength. I felt the love of God for me and so many others. I know we are all God's children. He loves us and wants the best for us. It isn't always how or what we think. But it is the perfect plan...His plan. I learned to walk or really crawl in darkness with a flicker of faith in what I was experiencing. Trusting in His plan isn't always so easy. I realized more than ever that I am not a quiter or should I say I'm a surivor. Even if it is harder than hard, quiting is not in my vocabulary(OK, it has been and still is at times, but I can't really follow through). Running my last marathon taught me so much of just keep moving forward. No matter what speed you are going if you are placing one foot in front of the other you are making progress. I guess when I know it is what God wants and I have recieved that special feeling that I can't deny, there is no giving up. What would be on the other side of my choices if I did give up? I wouldn't be truely happy and I would not feel any peace. I love peace. It is one of the greatest gifts for me. What is before me might be really, really, I mean REALLY hard at times, but I have peace. I can't give up on that and God never gives up on me or any of us. Thank goodness for that.

So, there is my soap box. I guess I got off the subject a bit about the first month and all.

There are hard moments and really good moments. Marcelo has changed so much. It is like night and day from the time we were in Ecuador. I feel of his love for us and his desire to be apart of our family. He wants to be in our family pictures. In fact, he wants to be in all the pictures. He is such a good boy. I feel it so strong from him. He is smart, kind, and VERY patient. He is such a hard worker and even loves to work. If I weren't careful all the other kids would have him "helping" them do their jobs.

So, we are still in the process of being united. I told Bry that we are all like a bunch of marshmellows being melted in a pot. It happens slow and you have to keep working(stirring)...but then all of a sudden you have the perfect "united" melted marshmellow creme to make the best rice crispy treats ever. There are always a few marshmellows that seem to take a little longer to melt, but once they do, it is great. So, now we are working and waiting...... til that day. We are all learning more about Christ like Love and swallowing a bit of pride every day :)

Bringing Marcelo in our family has been so good for us. We do more things together. We have different habbits now that bring more unity. We are much more crazy at dinner, but every one is having fun (unless you have a headache). We are more focused on our family and our relationships. Rich and I are more concerned about how everyone is doing and what we as parents can do for them. We are all learning to love more and accept others for who they are. Rich and I are more united than ever. I'm so grateful we were both able to be in Ecuador. It was a huge blessing. We have all recieved so many blessings from this and I'm sure they will keep coming as we learn and grow.

On a side note, I don't know if this was too much. BUT, I feel so much better now. I'm ready for my icecream cone :)