I remember the days when my little boys would come into my bedroom in the middle of the night to tell me they were scared, peed the bed, needed to go to the bathroom, or wanted to cuddle. I remember being so tired and sometimes hoping Rich would get out of bed to help them or pretending to be a sleep a little longer to see if Rich even heard them. Most of the time he didn't and I would get up with them. I loved putting them back to bed as they snuggled into their covers. I missed this so much when I was in Ecuador for that month almost a year ago. I couldn't wait til I came home and they would cuddle me in the middle of the night or in the early hours in the morning.

I returned from Ecuador and I was so sad to learn that they didn't do this anymore. I felt like they didn't need me in that way anymore. That they learned to handle things without me and became so independent.

It has almost been a year...something I have longed to happen has happened. Kiefer came into my bedroom and was scared. He climbed up into my bed and cuddled me. I loved putting my arms around him and hearing his breathing go deeper and deeper til he fell asleep.

I have longed for this so much and thought my times of having this was long gone. I felt like it was a gift from God in a night I needed to feel that kind of love and being needed.

I guess sometimes I don't know what I got til it's gone.

I love my little Kiefer. It took almost a year. I wish it happened sooner, but it was worth the wait to cuddle my little sweetie in the middle of the night.