Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!

I ponder a year ago..last Thanksgiving....it was such a day of mixed emotions. I wanted to soak every moment with my kids. Rich and I were leaving for Ecuador the next day. I was ready to go get this new son of ours, but my heart was so sad to leave my other children.

I feel so blessed to be home with them this year. I spent the day yesturday baking rolls, cookies, and making chocolate covered strawberries. This is what I longed to do all last Christmas season with my children around me helping. I got to do that in preparing for Thanksgiving. I felt so grateful for all the many blessings of family, being together as a family, not having to be apart, and seeing God's hand in our families lives every day this past year.

It has been a very very hard year for me, but I see such tender mercies in my life and the lives of my family. I have felt guided how to teach and love my family. I have felt protected from so much at the same time facing so much heartache. I see the growth of our family's unity...

I'm here as a witness that Heavenly Father loves each one of us. He IS here to help us make it through what ever trial we face. He is there waiting for us to turn to Him so he can wrap His loving arms around us. He is there to enjoy with us all our joys that we face as well. We are His children. He knows us and loves us...I can feel it so strong even as I write this.

I am grateful for this knowledge. I am grateful for His love and knowing.. I am a daughter of God.

I didn't post for Sarah's Birthday.... November 12

All Sarah wanted for her birthday was to be in her house before we move. She got her birthday wish. Angie Wach made the most yummy red velvet cake ever for Sarah. We were able to eat this and open presents. I tried hard to have it as special of a day as possible because she wasn't very happy about moving the next day. We ended our evening all cuddled in mine and Rich's bed watching a Barbie movie. It was great to be together like that.

Sarah is such a sweetie......my little angel. She loves to take charge and be the little mother. She is such a silly goober. She keeps us laughing at the dinner table. She can be fearless when she sets her mind to it. Now, if I could get her to think that way about eating strawberries. :) I have enjoyed watching her grow into such a big girl. She did swim team this past summer. It was very hard for her, but she did it. She didn't want to switch schools when we moved, but after praying and fasting she felt like she should switch and she did (although it was hard for her). She got up to bear her sweet testimony in church in November. It was so tender. She said she knew that when we are having a hard time that Heavenly Father will help us and that she knew Thomas S. Monson was a true prophet. That was it, but so from the heart. My little girl is getting so big in spirit and strength. I love this little girl of mine...she is my JOY

I remember the days when my little boys would come into my bedroom in the middle of the night to tell me they were scared, peed the bed, needed to go to the bathroom, or wanted to cuddle. I remember being so tired and sometimes hoping Rich would get out of bed to help them or pretending to be a sleep a little longer to see if Rich even heard them. Most of the time he didn't and I would get up with them. I loved putting them back to bed as they snuggled into their covers. I missed this so much when I was in Ecuador for that month almost a year ago. I couldn't wait til I came home and they would cuddle me in the middle of the night or in the early hours in the morning.

I returned from Ecuador and I was so sad to learn that they didn't do this anymore. I felt like they didn't need me in that way anymore. That they learned to handle things without me and became so independent.

It has almost been a year...something I have longed to happen has happened. Kiefer came into my bedroom and was scared. He climbed up into my bed and cuddled me. I loved putting my arms around him and hearing his breathing go deeper and deeper til he fell asleep.

I have longed for this so much and thought my times of having this was long gone. I felt like it was a gift from God in a night I needed to feel that kind of love and being needed.

I guess sometimes I don't know what I got til it's gone.

I love my little Kiefer. It took almost a year. I wish it happened sooner, but it was worth the wait to cuddle my little sweetie in the middle of the night.

Aug.2 Kiefer and Caleb had their 5th birthday.

It was a great day going to the pool, having their special meals, and seeing them play with their gifts.

Kiefer and Caleb told everyone that it was their birthday and they were turning 5.

Kiefer was born 2 minutes before Caleb, so he usually gets to blow out his candles first. Kiefer is such a little goober. I don't think he can walk across a room without doing something goofy. He keeps us laughing. One thing I love about Kiefer is his sweetness. If I'm ever sitting or laying down Kiefer will start playing with my hair. He will run and get a brush then send me into moments of heaven by brushing my hair. He has mastered this art.
He loves having his back rubbed. In the middle of the day he will come to me and ask me to rub his back and he will cuddle me for some time. I love this.

Kiefer loves riding his bike, swimming, going to church and school, and he loves to color. He also loves rubbing his bellybutton. It is so funny to see. He also loves Caleb. He loves being with Caleb. They either help eachother make good choices or they are in crime together.

Caleb, my "youngest", is a sweetheart. Caleb can sit at the table and write his letters for a very long time. He loves to swim, write, build blocks, go to church, school,...really he likes going anywhere. The thing I love about Caleb is his manlyness. He loves putting on his tennis shoes and showing us how fast he can run around. He is my little helper. If I come home from walmart, he is there to help bring in the bags of food. He wants me to see how srong he is. Even with all his manhood at such a young age, he is very sensitive. He is kind to others and is very helpful with other kids.
He loves playing with Kiefer at bedtime. This is the time when Caleb becomes a bit of a teaser.
I love hearing them talk and laugh at bedtime. Sometimes they talk and laugh for a couple of hours. I can never stop them. It is such a neat thing to witness.

Kiefer and Caleb both bring me so much JOY. They brighten my days. I love my twin boys. It was really hard those first several years, but they have the gift of bringing so much love and happiness wherever they are. I am so blessed to have them as my little boys...my babies.

I prayed that Marcelo would recieve all the love and excitement for him on his Birthday. This is his first birthday with us and I wanted him to feel loved and special.

Since, we were on our way back from vacation we were in a hotel the morning of his birthday. I decorated a poster for him and the girls blew up balloons for him. (Rich and I had to get two rooms for our family) In the morning we girls went to the boys room and threw balloons up and sang happy birthday to him.

We got home in time to fix his cake. He wanted yellow cake with chocolate icing. We fixed chicken, rice(which did not turn out), and french fries. His favorites.

While we ate I told him it is a family tradition to tell how the birthday person came into our family. I told of how Heavenly Father guided us to him and then I told how Rich and I came on a plane, we were so excited to see and meet him. I told of the first day we got to see him and all the things we did........and how we all

felt.

As I told the story, so many of the emotions came back from that time. It was such a high and low of feelings. I felt a rush of emotions, but I was able to hold it in while I told the story.

My little Marcelo has been with us for 8 months. It is hard to imagine how far we have come. He is such a different boy and I am a different kind of Mom.

Marcelo is such a good boy. His heart is kind. He is funny. He is smart. He notices so many things even small things. He asks so many questions of what I am doing and why I'm doing it, where am I going and why,......He loves music, loves to be sang to, loves food, loves swimming, loves playing with cars and loves his new leapster. He doesn't like getting his picture takin when he is the center of the attention, he doesn't like quiet time, and he doesn't really like watching tv.

All in all I think he had a great birthday. I love my little Marceo.

I have to share two cute stories with Marcelo..

The other day I was having one of those days. I told my kids that I was a grouch and if they wanted to have a nice day they won't talk back, pick fights, and they will say yes when I ask them to do something. ( I think the summer heat has gotten to their heads. I was at my limit with their teasings and throwing fits when I asked them to do something). I was leaving to go somewhere and I was getting in my car, while my kids were eating lunch at the table. The door from the house opened and Marcelo's head peeks out and he yells out..."I love you, mom!"

It was one of those moments when I really felt he meant it. I needed to hear those lovely words at that moment. My sweet little Marcelito.

My second story is...

Marcelo was yelling for me through the house, "MOM...MOM..MOM"

Savannah said,"What"

Marcelo said," No, my real Mom.."

To some this might be small, but to me...it was very sweet. We have come a long way. I used to be know as "the mom".....Now, he called me his real mom. Our relationship is so much better. We have moments now..sweet ones. I can tell he feels closer, more trust, and more comfort with me. We still have a lot further to go, but my heart is so grateful for how far we have come. I am grateful for how he comes up to me and hugs me, holds my hand as we walk, rubs my back or arm while we sit together at church. I am finding that we are having more of those sudden acts of love that a mother and child share throughout our days. I feel more depth as we both express our love for eachother.......I'm just so grateful, today.

6 months...a whole 6 months that Marcelo has been in our family. Six months ago we came from Ecuador with this little boy that only spoke spanish, wouldn't open any of his Christmas presents, was scared of all his new surroundings, and many more things that I know about and things that I hope he will share as he gets older.
I had no idea how my life was going to change. I have learned so much. It has been such a blessing to have Marcelo in our family. We are all better people for having him in our lives. I love this boy. He has no idea how much I love him and all that I go through for him. I have enjoyed looking at all his growth he has made.
I feel like there is more trust, love, light, joy, security, and peace in his life. He loves his siblings. He loves playing with them. He loves playing school, riding his bike, going to church, singing songs, playing house, writing his name and letters, and he loves his Daddy.
Marcelo is a hard worker. He folds clothes, sweeps the floor, does a great job cleaning up. He enjoys doing dishes, but I really don't have him do that very often. He can be the one who will listen just to be the first to listen. Marcelo is kind and very gentle. He puts up with a lot with his brothers.
So, as I look at all the wonderful things that have happened in the last 6 months and all that I have been able to discover about Marcelo...it is bitter sweet.
It has been the hardest thing I have ever and am going through. I have been tested and tested and rejected and...you name it I have delt with it. I am left very mentally tired so much of the time. When one thing seems to be getting better another issue comes up, and there is the whole two steps forward one step back thing. I have gone through emotions that I never even knew I had. I have had weaknesses come forth that I'd rather them stay down deep. It has put strains on relationships and have tested the strength of them. I could go on and on.
On the flip side...I feel like those relationships have become so much stronger and united. I feel like many of those weaknesses have become strengths of mine. I have learned to continue to reach out (which is still hard at times..many times) when it all seems to be rejected.
My favorite thing in the whole experience is calling upon my Heavenly Father and seeing on a daily bases his help, answers, guidance, and love. I am not perfect and I make so many mistakes with this whole new life of mine. But, I know my prayers have been answered. Heavenly Father is so kind and loving and aware of me and all that I go through and all that I feel. I know He is aware of Marcelo. I know I have recieved guidance to such little things that have been hard to do, but has made huge differences in our lives.
Teaching a little child such basics that a baby learns has been rewarding. Marcelo is learning still, but has come so far in knowing what a family is all about.
Our relationship is still growing. We have good days and bad ones. We are still learning to trust eachother. He still tests me like no other, but I feel like everything is on the right path. All that we have been through was needed to go through and still need to go through more. I wouldn't trade it or even change it. This is all shaping us to become the people God wants us to become.
I know through the Atonement of Christ all will be healed, hearts will change, and that happiness and love will only grow. It just takes a lot of work and time on our part. Everything worth having
is worth the work....right :)